Strange is your language (and I have no decoder)

Working at a winery is an awesome gig - I get paid to learn a ton about my favorite alcoholic beverage - all while beefing up my social skills. The folks that pop into my winery are mostly inexperienced wine tasters (and partially buzzed to boot) from Pennsylvannia and Canada - so it’s super easy to feed them BS if I’m ever at a loss for an answer. However, I feel the need to inform you all that mentioning or quoting from the movie Sideways in a winery is not original. Not original, at all.


But you already knew that because you're all super original folks!


Additionally, [and I'm speaking to my past tasters here]


Merlot is pronounced "Mur-low"… while I can understand how Gewürztraminer, Sauvignon, and even Rosé (row-say) can be mispronounced - Merlot is a VERY common wine! Say it with me now, "muuuur looooooow!"


Do not smirk or make some sort of comment after I mention spitting (into the bucket). Spitting is allowed and encouraged at a wine tasting - I do it all the time (I know, hard to believe).


RS stands for Residual Sugar - the percentage of sugar left in the wine, post fermentation. The higher the number, the sweeter the wine.


No, you may not touch our grapes.


Most of the wines made in New York state (and everywhere else, except snooty wine making European countries) are named after the dominant grape… Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, etc. For example, a Riesling is called Riesling because it is made from a grape of that very same name (and it's German, FYI). Blends tend to have a generic, made up name with no vintage. While a wine may be called, or considered to be a Chardonnay, it's not necessarily 100% Chardonnay (each state/country have different regulations on the actual percentage).


Vintage refers to the year that most of the grapes were harvested.


Picking up glass of wine and simply guzzling it is a clear indication that you’re out for a buzz… so don’t bother trying to "stump me" with wine questions just to impress your friends. I’m more sober/smarter than you and I will always know the answer. And besides, shooting wine is a huge disservice to yourself. Chill out… stop, smell, taste, and enjoy!


If you don't like it - that's fine! Pour it out, and move on.


Tastings always move: Dry whites > Sweet whites, then Dry reds > Sweet reds. Unless you're an experienced, award winning wine taster - don’t try to tell me otherwise.


Yes, it is totally cool to give me a tip, especially if you learned from the experience.


The wine tasting notes are merely suggestions of the nose, palette, etc. About 90% of the time I disagree, and it’s cool if you do too!


Dislike like red wine because of the sulfites? Sulfites are naturally occurring in all wines and supplemented to mostly sweet whites (not dry reds) as a preservative. I believe that the word you're looking for is tannins.


And lastly, never refrain from a tasting because you think you don't like wine (Boone's Farm is not wine)… fermented grape juice is as old as time and there's one out there for everyone - stop the prejudice!


Any questions?